There
are three obsessive behaviors that
you are likely to be engaging in that
impeded your healing process and stop
you from enjoying a stress-free life.
Recognizing these barriers can be
a great first step toward getting
rid of the problems that go with being
too stressed.
The
first is obsessive negativity. When
you are obsessively negative, it means
that you have a tendency toward being
"negative" about people,
places, situations, and things in
your life.
Perhaps you find yourself saying things
like "I can't do this!"
or "No one understands!"
or "Nothing ever works!",
for example. You may be doing this
unconsciously, but essentially you
have what's known as a "sour
grapes" attitude, and it holds
you back from knowing what it's like
to view life from a positive lens
and enjoy the beauty in yourself and
people around you! There's a whole
world out there for you...with happiness
and positive thinking.
Then
you have obsessive perfectionism.
When you engage in obsessive perfectionism,
you are centered on trying to do everything
"just so" to the point of
driving yourself into an anxious state
of being. You may find yourself making
statements such as, "I have to
do this right, or I'll be a failure!"
or "If I am not precise, people
will be mad at me!" Again, this
behavior may be totally under the
threshold of your awareness, but it
interferes greatly with your ability
to enjoy things without feeling "uptight"
and "stressed."
Finally
there is obsessive analysis. When
you are obsessed about analyzing things,
you find yourself wanting to re-hash
a task or an issue over and over again.
For instance, you might find yourself
making statements such as, "I
need to look this over, study it,
and know it inside and out...or else
I can't relax!" or "If I
relax and let things go without looking
them over repeatedly, things go wrong!"
While
analytical thinking is an excellent
trait, if it's done in excess you
never get to stop and smell the roses
because you're too busy trying to
analyze everything and everyone around
you. Gaining insight into this type
of behavior is one of the most important
keys to letting go of stress, and
getting complete power over your anxiety.
If
you find yourself engaging in any
of the above "Blocking Behaviors",
there are two things you can do to
help yourself. First, ask the people
you know, love, and trust, "Am
I negative about things?", "Do
I complain a lot?", and "Am
I difficult to be around?"
This may be hard for you to listen
to, as the truth sometimes hurts a
great deal. But the insight you will
get from others' assessment of you
is invaluable, and you'll know precisely
how others see you. Accept their comments
as helpful info, and know that you
will gain amazing insights from what
you hear.
Second, keep a journal to write down
and establish patterns of when you
are using "blocking behaviors."
Even if you are not thrilled with
the idea of writing, you can make
little entries into a note book or
journal each day. The great part is
that you'll begin to see patterns
in your behavior that reveal exactly
what you're doing to prevent yourself
from curing your anxiety.
We’ll
give you some great stress busting
techniques later in the book, but
you need to recognize these blockages
first so you can move into the “healing”
stage and conquer your stress and
anxiety.
Many
people think that stress and anxiety
are the same thing. This couldn’t
be further from the truth!
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