I
managed to learn how to break out
of this cycle. You can do the same
thing if you see yourself in the above
description. You want to know how?
It’s easier than you think!
First,
practice saying NO. This is a very
important word! Say it as often as
you can, just to hear the word come
out of your mouth. Say it out loud
when you are alone. Practice phrases
with NO in them, such as, "No,
I can’t do that" or "No,
I don’t want to go there".
Try it for simple things first, and
then build your way up to harder situations.
Stop
saying YES all the time. Try to pause
or take a breath before responding
to someone’s request. You may
want to answer requests with "I
need to think about it first, I’ll
get back to you" or "Let
me check my schedule and call you
back". Use any phrase that you
feel comfortable with that gives you
time before you automatically respond
with YES.
Take small breaks, even if you feel
guilty. You won’t always feel
guilty, but most likely in the beginning
you will. Remember that your mental
health is well worth the aggravation
you may have to take from others.
What’s important is you. When
you are healthy, those around you
will be healthy!
Figure
out what gives you pleasure. For example,
you may like reading magazines, watching
videos, going to a park, or listening
to music. Give yourself permission
to do those things and then enjoy
them.
Ask someone to help you with something.
I know this is a hard one but you
can do it! After all, everyone else
is asking YOU for favors, why shouldn’t
YOU ask THEM? Just be tolerant if
they turn you down. Just because you
have always told them “Yes”
doesn’t mean they always have
to tell you “Yes”. Check
in with how you feel and what you
are thinking. It’s important
to be aware of these things; they’re
part of who you are. And then try
saying what you feel and think more
often. Just remember to have a little
decorum in certain situations.
Many people pleasers believe that
nobody
will like them if they stop doing
things for other people. If someone
stops liking you because you don’t
do what they ask, then you’re
being used by them and probably don’t
want them as a friend anyway.
People will like you for who you are
and not simply for what you do. You
deserve to take time to yourself,
to say NO, and to take care of yourself
without feeling guilty. It’s
within your reach to change - one
small step at a time!
I think most people would be in complete
agreement when I make this next statement.
McDonald’s had it right –
You Deserve A Break Today!
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